Beware of the ice blocking train

So here is one of the latest from a little ice blocking dilly that I went to. As soon as I got there I joined the group on the tallest hill and the longest train and I was on the back end of the train. What happened is that the front of the train hit a dead stop and the back of the train fish tailed to the front and then just barrel rolled from there, people, ice blocks and all. My shoulder (see below) somehow too most of the impact. I thought it was kinda lame cuz I got right up and the girl who ROLLED OVER ME laid on the ground and milked it like she was in pain. I would like to see what she has to offer in terms of battle wounds. Girls are such wussies.

SO now I have a scar on each shoulder....one from ice blocking and one from alpine sleds. My need for speed seems to be takin a toll on my subcutaneous.

O the lost journal entries and what they reveal

So I had to laugh and say a prayer of thanks that I didn't get married young because as I was reading an old journal, I came across this little entry entitled something to the sort of " WHAT I NEED IN A BOYFRIEND." So here it is, my list when I was 16 of what I was looking for and thank goodness I didn't find it.
1. SKater type boy
2. In a PUnk band
3. Tattoo on deltoid
4. Earing on eyebrow or lip
5. Going to college
6. Six pack abs
In short...this is what I was looking for

FUNNY AFRICA QUOTE

Was going through my AFRICA journal and came across this conversation with my friend
NICOLE: I have to be careful with these books becauase they aren't mine
ME: We may need those books if we run out of toilet paper. You must be willing to donate them if needed
NICOLE: No worries, that is what I brought this Ensign for

THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

My old mission comp and I have a term that we called, " THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS." It covers the majority of women and quite frankily it just sizzles me over.
The DAMSEL IN DISTRESS is the girl who finds herself in a tough situation and rather then using her perfectly competant BRAIN she jumps right out of a great learning situation and cries out for help. Some boy comes to the rescue and somehow this makes her feel all is well.
I simply can not understand this thinking. How can all be well? What is the damsel going to do when she falls into that situation again? What could she possibly gain from being helpless and letting someone else come to the rescue? What good does sitting around waiting for help do? What does she possibly gain from this? IN my eyes, NOTHING.

RATHER, what the damsel should do is use the very useful thing screwed atop her neck called a brain. She should challenge herself and find a way to resolve her problem. She should learn from the experience and then be able to help someone else down the road who is in the similar situation. And who knows..maybe that someone else will be her!! Sure, not everyone knows everything but there is no reason that she can't look it up or educate herself on the matter or even make a phone call for advise. But she should NEVER just sit around in the castle like an idiot waiting day in and day out for some hero to come rescue her. Why cheat yourself of a great learning opportunity and a glimpse of the vast things you are capable of?
THEN THERE is the MEN and this is the SOLE reason that the DAMSEL exsists...to get the MAN. Men have to feel all testosteroned and hero-like, otherwise they feel useless. They have to feel like they are rescueing someone and that the world would collapse without them. And when they do find this, they drop like apricots come fall. They find an opportunity to help the damsel and they are google eyed and crazy because his testosterone needs have been filled and he thinks he has conquered a dragon by helping the girl.
SO HERE LIES OUR PROBLEM. Women know that the best way to get a guy is to act dumb and perplexed and to fill the mans testosterone need to be conquerer. So women create small dragons they need "rescuing" from and the men come runnning. This is by far the best way to call, find and keep a man.
Unfortunate for my parents, who are so deeply worried about my singlehood, I refuse to be the damsel in distress. I REFUSE to sit around in some castly crying for help waiting for some testosterone driven man with no brain to come to my rescue. Instead, I will sit in my castle, plan out my own attack, slay my own stinking dragon and liberate myself. I don't need to sit around waiting for someone else to come do it for me, what a waste of life and a perfectly good brain. And can I just say that the feeling of slaying your own dragons and being perfectly competant on your own is priceless.

Most valued things I simply can't live without.

Todays post is brought to you as the things that I just can't live without. These are all things that I use daily or would break into tears if I lost them. All items are in random order so as not to offend the other possesions.
1. MY VITAMIX BLENDER: I have wanted one of these babies for about 5 years and after 4 years of wanting I purchased one for the first time last year. From my first tast of my cantelope smoothie I was hooked. I still remember the first day I was able to purchase one as a present of graduation to myself. I treasured it like a long awaited adopted child and I was a baren wife.
2. MY SONICARE TOOTHBRUSH
You have never experience a clean mouth until you have brushed with the sonicare toothbrush. When I worked in a dental office, mothers raved about how much it saved them in expensive cavity filling bills. Their kids cavities would be reduced by half or more. It is an experience that I just can't get enough of and I am known to brush my teeth 4 -6 times a day just to revisit that clean feeling over and over again. Despite no running water and toliets that didn't flush and beds with holes in the middle, when I was in Africa the first thing that I said I missed the most was my sonicare toothbrush . (sorry family, you came long after the sonicare).
3. MY TOOL KIT I love my tool kit. I can honestly say that I have better tools then my Dad and he is quite jealous of the tool kit HE gave me. I always ask for tools for Christmas and he really spoiled me one year with a tool kit that can make a girl like me shed tears of joy.
4. DOVE DARK CHOCOLATE
This is one thing that I have a constant and running supply of in my cupboard. I eat 3-6 pieces daily and it just hits the spot like no other. Without them...I am not whole.
5. GRANOLA BARS This is the other thing I keep a constant supply of. I eat at least 2 of these daily and I have been known to eat up to ten a day. I just can't ever get enough of the textury goodness of granola. By far, a favorite food.
6. ICE COLD WATER
Call me crazy, but this is by far my favorite drink of all time. I can never drink enough and my bladder suffers terribly for it.
7.MY CDS I loath cheesy chick flicks, but if you play a good love song, I melt like butter in an oven. I love music and if music jumped off a cliff you can bet I would follow it. Need I say more?

more randomness o thoughts

I know this isn't my car......but I am pretty sure this is what people see when they look at it.....

SO just the other day I was cleaning and washing my car and I thought to myself...."why am I doing this? What is the point? Why clean something so trashy.ugly"
And so I responded to myself with this thought..."YOu need to take care of whatever the good lord gives you. No matter how ugly it is..be greatful and take care of it."
And then I furthered the thought with , "besides, this is good practice. It teaches you how to love and care for something even though it is ugly....and one day I am going to have ugly kids and I am going to have to love them and take care of them so this is great practice for the far and distant future."

MORE random thoughts..

I was listening and singing along to a country song that you may be familiar with. It's called Austin. I have always held a personal hatred for the song because it is so ridiculous and far fetched that it would NEVER, NEVER EVER happen. It is the sci-fi of love stories at it's finest. It is even worse then the love scences where a former lover shows up on an airplane or at a wedding and confesses their love, then the former lover dumps the current lover to be with the old one. I HATE those stories, they NEVER happen and they just present a false sense of hope in women everywhere. They should be banned.
Now back to my story which you will only find humerous if you know the song "Austin." Anyhoo,as I was singing along, I often drift away into thought as if I am in the story and the song is about me. So as I was singing along I found myself changing the lyrics to what I would say if I were in the song/story and I just had to chuckle.
As I sang I found myself saying, "P.S if this is Austin...screw you!"

Random THought

I was just remembering two of my old roommates telling me that all you have to do to have a makeout dream, was to spray your pillow with cologne at night before going to bed.

I was just sitting here putting 2 and 2 together and I realized that these were the same 2 roommates who confided in me after a troubling night because they each, on seperate occurances, had a dream that they had made out with their Dad!!
Ha, Serves them right.

SUMMER PLANS

So this has been one heck of a crazy and accomplished year...of many of my life goals I have accomplished one the the biggest...going to Africa!! How I have the rest of the summer to complete the other goals I have, and as I list them I realize that I am going to get nearly all of them done real soon!!!!
1. IDAHO STATE FAIR DEMOLITION DURBY (sept 6th if your interested in going)WHERE I WILL BE PARTICIPATING AS A DRIVER/WRECKER/SLAUGHTERER/CRAZY WOMAN DRIVER!!!!
2. Sky Dive (Planned for Sept 13th)
3. Keep taking bachelors classes despite my desire to throw my hands in the air and quit(yea, not so much on the ball with this one...I hate Weber)
4. Move to an affordable rental for 6 months, then buy a house (move in August 19th)
5. Have Sinus Surgery (scheduled Sept 9th...but may have to reschedule to skydive on the 13th)
6. Make the dreaded female doctors appointment (schedules Sept 5th)
7. Take guitar lessons
8.Get out on the Lake and water ski
9. Raft down some serious rapids (Accomplished August 2nd 2008)
10. Eat less junk and exercise more (Been exercising 3times a week now)
SO that is about it!!
11. Eat less so I can buy a snowboarding pass to brighton for the winter

MY FEARS

SO tonight I decided that I would make a list of some of the fears that I have in life...so here it goes....
(heres a pic of a sheep that was eaten by a python. I really scares me to death to look at this picture but it is so rare that i had to put it on) I scroll past it as fast as I can.
1. BEING SQUEEZED,SWALLOWED AND DIGESTED BY A PYTHON... while I am quite aware that by the time i have been squeezed by the python I am dead and I won't remember the being swallowed and digested aspect I can still creep myself out thinking about it. The whole unlocking jaw thing that allows the python to eat things 10 times its size is truely alien and metamorphically creepy. And the python approach is horrific. It is so slow and unnoticed and then just when you think you are safe.....SNAP...you are in his jaw. And he doesn't just eat you in one swallow bite like a crocodile he eats you slowly and painfully, head first....your feet still hanging out his mouth for later, like a dinner aftermint.
HOnestly, at night if I get freaked out, it is not because I invision a murder at my window, it is because I am invisioning a snake under my bed.

1. BEING PREGNANT.... I hate it when people say, " I am going to be a cute pregnant lady" because in my mind...no such thing exsists. In my eyes it is putting my body on the altar. It is like cohabitating your body with an alien. Suddenly I have no control over what my body does and this is the result..... I doll up in tears over anything that breaths, I slowly loose control of my bladder, i have the eating habits of a ravenous wolf, my belly stretches to be the size of a hot airballoon, I grunt when I sit down, I roll over to stand up, I get hunger pains while I am eating, I crave foods i don't even like the taste of, I throw up at the smell of the things I used to love, my emotions are as stable as a rocking chair, my hormones are bouncing around like a pin ball, I can't see my toes, my pants have a elastic in the front as to encompass a goiter, my hair falls out, my jeans NEVER fit again, my cellulite becomes the majority of my body, my boobs swell the size of cantelopes and I am so front heavy I have to lean back to walk. My stretch marks all connect, my ankles turn kankle, my veins become vericose, my lungs are squished up into my throat, I am leaking in more places then just my bladder, my teeth soften, I eat with both hands, I have to be violated with monthly checkups and cold metal stirups and the only way to end the episode is the painful experience of compressing a watermelon through a straw.

3. BEING SET UP ON DATES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE....this one is so hard on me. People tell me "I have the perfect person for you, they are just like you." I can't tell you how trying it is on my ego to open the door to a not even half attractive person standing there who is "just like me." I question my attractiveness for weeks following. It is hard enough to be single and to be on the constant rollercoaster of pointless hope and it is even harder to be subliminally told your ugly at the same time. I really fear having that for the rest of my life.

4. BEING CHASED....As a kid I always hated the game of tag because I hated the feeling of being chased. I would just give in and let them tag me because I couldn't stand the sound and the feeling of being chase and having them right on my heels. It was simply chilling to the spine to have the hovering feeling encompass me. The sound of the footsteps growing closer and closer and their breath getting so close it could warm your neck.....I HATE IT!!

5. THE MAN IN THE MIRROR...I am sure that you have all seen the movies where the girls is in the bathroom doing something and then all the sudden she looks up at her reflection in the mirror and there is a man standing behind her!! OH my heck I hate that. I would wash my face with one eye open if soap in the eye didn't hurt so dang bad. I definetly fear that, but I would prefer that he be standing there with the knife and just end it all right then cuz if he didn't then I would have to run and that would lead to a chase which scares me even more then the attack itself!! I would be more scared to run then to be stabbed. How contorted is that?

HOME

so I JUST GOT BACK FROM WA ANd can I juST say that I lOVE THAT PLACE. THere are FEW things as wonderful as being home with crisp green grass, towering trees and air as fresh as a sea breeze. The highlight of my trip was swinging on the porch swing. It was nothing short of divine. Here is the place i will always call HOME, my sanctuary.

CuTE KIDS

Here is just a few pictures of some adorable kids. I didn't even try to look cute in Africa, I didn't stand a chance with their natural beauty.