Monday, March 26, 2007

The subject of family prayer

So it has come to my attention (by way of younger sibling Chewey) that I have recently become the subject of family prayer in the home. Since all my sisters of age have been officially entrapped in the bonds of marriage, my family has found it meet to pray for my lost on wondering soul.
Bree said, " It took everything out of me not to laugh the first time I heard Dad pray that you would find your companion. But now I am used to it."
Now I am not sure how long this has been going on, but apparently it has been going on for sometime, because the laughter is gone. Like an old joke, the punchline is uneffective when said.
I kept my cool when I heard this tragic news and laughed out loud and then schemed a scheme so great that I am destined to stay single and selfspoiled. I told Bree, that if I got married then I would not be the single rich person that I am soon to be and that I would not have nearly the means to spoil her. So we have concluded, that in order to prevent the spoiling of Bree from being concluded, Bree would pray AGAINST the family. While Dad would pray for me to find my companion one evening, Bree would pray for me NOT to find my companion on another. The plan was perfect. And it is destined to come to pass and allow me to remain in my selfish state because Bree/Chewey is nearly the most perfect person a person could ever meet. And by way of perfection, Brees prayers are destined to be answered above all others prayers.
So I sit here, scheme in play as we speak. And despite the desperate pleas of marriage for my fathers ugly daughter, I remain single. And if the days comes that Brees prayers are not longer effective and Mr Right comes along, I think I will stop shaving my legs...and if that doesn't work, I will have to pick up the habit of picking my nose and if that doesn't work I will have to declare a terrible case of hemmeroids in public and if that doesn't work I will surrender. The End love RONNIE

1 comment:

Pichuley said...

and it came to past that ronnie was married, and the parents rejoiced. Yet all was not well in the house of the eternal fro. So whilst the bride groom slept she plotted that she might more fully enjoy her life...