Thursday, May 8, 2008

THe ol bagg turns 27

Just wanted to be sure to put a shout out to my good bud ER who remembered my birthday and planned the most perfect birthday outing of course involved sports!! That batting cage to be exact!!! So not only did I get to spend my birthday doing what I love most...SPORTS!!! I also got to take out my old age bitty single anger all at the same time!!!

As for the present ER gave me, it wasn't quite as cool. I took a picture of it for memmories sake. Here it is, my BLISTER PRESENT from ER!
Please note....this is not the girl you want to invite to your birthday party....her presents aren't all they are talked up to be.

DIRECTIONS??? Who needs'um

Long story short...on our way to Bachelorette party. Mel says go right instead of left and my car suddenly sinks on one side like a it's legs were pulled out from underneath it. Crap I shout and here is what we saw....Mel laughed...I did time.

So of course nobody at the party answers their phones so me and MEl trek our way into the cabin via foot and leave the Blue L.S.S. to the car eating road. When we got there I got three trusty helpers.

Sure they are cute, but I never guessed they would be able to pull Blue L.S.S. out of her perdicament. So I asked them to bring a they did.....and that was when it broke.

So as you can tell, all the stars we aligning for me. I started wondering it I really wanted to spend money towing Blue L.S.S. out. I thought maybe I would just leave her there to die in piece...and be consumed by the mudd road rather then tow her off in pieces. But much to my surprise...they pushed her right out!!! Unfortanetly, during this process Brook fell right in!!


Unfortunate for Brook, she fell down the very hole that the Blue L.S.S. did...this is what I saw...right before I peed my pants laughing. Yes, at the age o 26 I peed my pants laughing. Brook didnt think it was so funny.

HEre is another picture o Brook down...searching for her shoe as she swam through mudd.

I just couldn't get enough of these pictures..can ya tell. So here is another of Brook looking for her shoe while everyone takes pictures rather then helping her.

Here is the lucky plunge just before she found her shoe!!

A smile finally fills Brooks face as she retrieves her mudd stained 20 lbs. heavier.
PS Anyone who is friends with Brook I recommend you click/enlarge the pictures...her facial expressions are priceless!!
So Brook felt that she needed to seek revenge and let out all her anger so she drug her shoe across the back of my car in the form of a poo streak. I didn't care much. I have seen much bigger poo streaks on the hospital beds.

We knew it was a bachelorette party but we didn't know Brook was providing the strippin until she went streaking across the kitchen in her whitee tightees. It was quite the party.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Don't diet, exercise instead

SInce it is swimsuit season...and since it seems that all the cool "mom" thing to do is to blog about diets and eating I thought I would throw out a few of my own food consuming techniques that I live by. Not that I am a Mom, more so that I can fit in and conversate with those of my own age category.
1.) I never eat anything if the first listed ingredient is high fructose corn syrup or corn syrup....unless it is a cinnamon gummy bear, a chocolate covered cinnamon bear, a gummy peach or a gummy worm.
2.) If I decided to eat a whole candy bar just before bed, I have to do a mile or two on the treadmill before I can go to bed.
3.) If I eat a lot of sugar, I overdose on water. I like to believe that it waters down the sugar and I pee more of the sugar out then I actually digest and store. (of course I LIKE to believe this...but we all know it is not true by the bounce in the rear of my walk). But in all seriousness...when a patients K is too high, we just dilute it why not do the same with other excesses.
4.) Before a good run or a good workout..BINGE. I always binge before I run...or the entire DAY when I know I am going to run that night. Because I love my junk food and so if I plan accordingly I can eat it with only minor caloric body depositing.

5.) I punishment affixed it I totally overdose on junk food. I have a mental talk in my head and I make a promise to my mental self right before I eat my third or fourth candybar, that if I eat it...I have to go running. That way before i eat the junk I carefully consider the consequeces and accept them as part of the pleasure to the sugar sensation.
6.) ALways have healthy snacks on hand. Granola bars, almonds, water, fruit leather etc
7.) Cut the soda. It's not that good anyways. Water tastes so much better and it doesn't leave that nasty sandy plaque on the teeth. Potatoe chips taste crappy too...don't eat them.
8.) Weigh your options...either you can eat a ton and exercise it off and still have a bundle of endorphines to enjoy afterwards
you can diet...think about food all day and what you are missing and live miserably.