Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
I have YET to meet someone who remembers them. So thanks to the wonders of the internet, I have brought them back for you to enjoy. I KNOW there were people out there have this lost in the back of their mind and now is the time to relive your past.
BEHOLD PICTURE PAGES!! Starring BIll COSBY and his pen MORTIMER!!!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
SOMETIMES, WHEN i JUST CAN'T RESIST EATING A PIECE OF SCRUMPTUOUS FATTY CHOCOLATE, CAKE, COOKIE OR CHEESECAKE OR WHATNOT.....i HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO TAKE A BITE.....SAVOR IT IN MY MOUTH AND CHEW A COUPLE TIMES......THEN SPIT IT OUT!!!!
CUZ SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T RESIST!! AND IT ISN'T UNTIL IT IS IN MY MOUTH THAT I TASTE ITS EXTRA SWEETNESS AND AS I CHEW ON IT, I COME TO REALIZE THE FULL CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS. AS I CHEW I TASTE THE CHOCOLATELY RICHNESS AND I START TO CONTEMPLATE JUST HOW THIS TASTE CAME TO BE AND ALL I CAN SEE IT BUTTER,SUGAR,CREAM, AND HIGH FRUCTOSE CORNSYRUP....THEN I START TO THINK ABOUT HOW ALL THAT SUBSTANCE LOOKS ON MY BUTT AND THIGHS... THEN I START TO THINK ABOUT HOW WEAK I AM AND HOW DISAPPOINTED I AM IN MY INABILITY TO RESIST.....AND THEN I SPIT IT OUT. I FIGURE IF I DON'T SWALLOW, I DON'T DIGEST AND SO I DON'T ABSORB THE CALORIES.
KINDOF A DUMB MINDSET BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE DONE IT.
KIND OF A SELECT MASTICATEDBULEMIA OF SOME SORT I GUESS YOU COULD SAY.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
WHEN I AM IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM I NEVER USE THE FIRST TWO SQUARES OF TOLIET PAPER. I TEAR THEM OFF and THROW THEM AWAY.
My reasoning is because if you have ever noticed, when you go to tear a piece of toliet paper off the roll you have to use your other hands to hold the other end of the paper. (cuz we all know the serate t.p. tearer doesn't work). So I don't want someone elses hand germs on my toilet paper or let alone riding my crotch. So I always throw the first two away when I am in public.
IF I SEE SOMETHING THAT COULD BE RECYCLED IN THE GARBAGE I WILL DIG IT OUT AND PUT IT IN THE RECYCLE BIN.
I know it is slightly crazed but whenever I see plastic in the recyle bin all I can think about is how many hundreds of thousands of years it would take for that plastic bottle to decompose in a landfill. It makes me sick to think about it.
IF I AM AT A PARTY AND THEY SERVE DRINKS WITH PLASTIC "DISPOSABLE" CUPS I WILL SAVE THE CUP AND TAKE IT HOME WITH ME AND AND WASH IT OR RESUSE IT FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
Again it is the whole recycle thing. I can't just throw plastic away without recycling it. Sometimes I will take it home and use it a couple more times so it doesn't go to complete waste right away.
WHEN I AM THINKING ABOUT A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE IN MY HEAD I WILL OFTEN THINK OF WHAT THEY MIGHT SAY BACK TO ME OR WHAT I WILL SAY TO THEM AND I WILL FIND MYSELF GIVING FULL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AS IF THEY WERE ACTUALLY THERE TALKING TO ME. OR I WILL FIND MYSELF LAUGHING ALOUD TO AN IMAGINARY CONVERSATION I JUST HAD IN MY HEAD.
I don't feel the need to explain myself on this one. I know I need therapy.
I HAVE BEEN TOLD BY MY FRIENDS THAT WHEN THEY ARE TELLING ME A STORY AND I AM REALLY INTO IT, I WILL MOVE MY LIPS THE WHOLE TIME THEY ARE TALKING. LIKE I AM THE ONE TELLING THE STORY OR SOMETHING. I DON'T REALY KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS ONE CUZ I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT.
I am not sure what my explanation for this one is. I just get really into the story and want to tell it myself I guess.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
THIS ----> http://www.cmt.com/videos/unplugged/megan-mullins/94788/i-want-you-back.jhtml
is my favorite song of hers that just hooked me on her! It is the perfect man hater song as I call it. YOu just GOT to listen to it. I gaurentee you will LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!!
Monday, October 13, 2008
So after landing and hearing my ankle crunch like a bag o chips under a mattress I rolled down the last few steps and accepted my fate.
HEre I am supermodelposing by the water side with my sexy fat ankle.
Needless to say this fat ankle ment me being gimp on my vacation, missing a soccor game, attending church with a huge fat dinosauritis sized ankle and weeks without being able to go for my sanity runs, and a flat tire on my new mountain bike!! Yes this ankle of fat is nothing but trouble and I am not too happy about my mobolization lacking. Luckily is is getting better but I always have to wrap it and that makes me feel old. And i hate feeling old. Coming to glimpse with your true bodies lack of youth is my least favorite thing to do.
Friday, October 10, 2008
So then I got on line trying to find how I was going to fix my problem when I came across a civic forum. As I was scrolling through I laughed when I came across a kid who posted that he wanted to sell the piecer that his parents had given him for his 16th birthday.
IN response this is what some guy wrote and I laughed so hard when I read it!!!( swear words have been appropriate replaced with close replicas)
"When i hate my car i just remember this is my car only mine i put the blood sweat and tears into it. OH WAIT YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT FEELING! Dont complain. I wish i got a brand new car for free when i was a 16 year old. I worked for my used lil ride saved up and got her at 15. And being a worker my wholelife i know NO WAY IN HELL can you bother saying you earned it all your self.Little whiny crapper like you make me laugh cause your daddys probably so deep in debt trying to keep up with the Jones that you going to pay for his retirement!!"
I LOVE this guy..wonder if he is single. LOL
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I am quite sure that if I counted up how many times I have been called INTIMIDATING it would be well over fifty.
So I thought to myself...perhaps it isn't that bad...perhaps you have a wrong perception of the definition. So I looked it up....here is what I got...
INTIMIDATING MEANS: to make timid or fearful : frighten ; especially : to compel or deter by or as if by threats
SO that didn't help one my ego one bit. So I guess when guys look at me, this is what they actually see.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Shayla: Gee I wonder what that must be like, no not even care when I get paid and not live pay check to pay check.
Ronnie: OH, I can tell you EXACTLY what it feels like!! It feels like driving in hundred degree weather all summer long with no air conditioning!! THAT IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE! LOL
CHECK OUT THE GUNS ON BOBO!!! NICE AS THEY ARE THEY DON"T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST MINE, I CAN CRUSH HER IN AN ARM WRESTLE ANY DAY O THE WEEK.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
HERE IS THE GROUP OF US..IT was SO fun..please notice that the majority of us are sopping wet.
And here is sara post falling out. The entire raft of people fell out and we all hung onto the raft or climbed in. Sara however swam for shore and we had to paddle back to shore, send Tara to retrieve her and bring her back to the raft.
HEre is a bug that was in my hair when I was sleepin
AND HERE is a very interesting way to sunbath...brought to us by sara...strange girl....I didn't invite her.
HEre is the raft that we had to put top the car when our truck keys were lost
HEre is the view from the windsheild after we put the raft on....like looking through a peep hole!
So I WOULD have had these pics up sooner, but a certain someone found a boytoy and has just recently (after much announance by myself) sent these pics from the trip. SO here are the ones that I have. NO hard feelings unnamed person I will call ERICKA for purposes of concealing identities.
Friday, September 12, 2008
ME: Ya well when I get married, I mean IF I get married then bla bla bla (can't remember what I said).
ERIN: What do you mean IF you get married?
ME: I mean IF Erin! I mean just what I said! History has a tendency to repeat itself and I am already 27 years into it. If it repeates itself again chances don't look so good, I will be 57!!
But what is the case is that i finally had sinus surgery! A much needed fix to my every other month misery of suffering from sinus infections. They basically go in my nose via port of my nostrils and burrow our my sinuses and then take out my crooked septum and crush it down to make it straight and put it back in. I highly recommend youtube for a full length video so that you feel really sorry for me and send chocolate. Anyways, here is what I did this week.
Recovery could have been worse but it is miserable for sure. My face felt like a train wreck. Dry blood and metal plates crammed up in my nose. I haven't been able to breath through it. My face got all swollen along with my nose. And I am pretty sure you could turn a semi truck around on top of my nose today. Needless to say no public appearances for now, and if you do see me you can bet I will run away ...or just pull my shirt over my head.
SO now I have a scar on each shoulder....one from ice blocking and one from alpine sleds. My need for speed seems to be takin a toll on my subcutaneous.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
1. SKater type boy
2. In a PUnk band
3. Tattoo on deltoid
4. Earing on eyebrow or lip
5. Going to college
6. Six pack abs
In short...this is what I was looking for
Thursday, August 28, 2008
NICOLE: I have to be careful with these books becauase they aren't mine
ME: We may need those books if we run out of toilet paper. You must be willing to donate them if needed
NICOLE: No worries, that is what I brought this Ensign for
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The DAMSEL IN DISTRESS is the girl who finds herself in a tough situation and rather then using her perfectly competant BRAIN she jumps right out of a great learning situation and cries out for help. Some boy comes to the rescue and somehow this makes her feel all is well.
I simply can not understand this thinking. How can all be well? What is the damsel going to do when she falls into that situation again? What could she possibly gain from being helpless and letting someone else come to the rescue? What good does sitting around waiting for help do? What does she possibly gain from this? IN my eyes, NOTHING.
RATHER, what the damsel should do is use the very useful thing screwed atop her neck called a brain. She should challenge herself and find a way to resolve her problem. She should learn from the experience and then be able to help someone else down the road who is in the similar situation. And who knows..maybe that someone else will be her!! Sure, not everyone knows everything but there is no reason that she can't look it up or educate herself on the matter or even make a phone call for advise. But she should NEVER just sit around in the castle like an idiot waiting day in and day out for some hero to come rescue her. Why cheat yourself of a great learning opportunity and a glimpse of the vast things you are capable of?
THEN THERE is the MEN and this is the SOLE reason that the DAMSEL exsists...to get the MAN. Men have to feel all testosteroned and hero-like, otherwise they feel useless. They have to feel like they are rescueing someone and that the world would collapse without them. And when they do find this, they drop like apricots come fall. They find an opportunity to help the damsel and they are google eyed and crazy because his testosterone needs have been filled and he thinks he has conquered a dragon by helping the girl.
SO HERE LIES OUR PROBLEM. Women know that the best way to get a guy is to act dumb and perplexed and to fill the mans testosterone need to be conquerer. So women create small dragons they need "rescuing" from and the men come runnning. This is by far the best way to call, find and keep a man.
Unfortunate for my parents, who are so deeply worried about my singlehood, I refuse to be the damsel in distress. I REFUSE to sit around in some castly crying for help waiting for some testosterone driven man with no brain to come to my rescue. Instead, I will sit in my castle, plan out my own attack, slay my own stinking dragon and liberate myself. I don't need to sit around waiting for someone else to come do it for me, what a waste of life and a perfectly good brain. And can I just say that the feeling of slaying your own dragons and being perfectly competant on your own is priceless.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
1. MY VITAMIX BLENDER: I have wanted one of these babies for about 5 years and after 4 years of wanting I purchased one for the first time last year. From my first tast of my cantelope smoothie I was hooked. I still remember the first day I was able to purchase one as a present of graduation to myself. I treasured it like a long awaited adopted child and I was a baren wife.
2. MY SONICARE TOOTHBRUSH
You have never experience a clean mouth until you have brushed with the sonicare toothbrush. When I worked in a dental office, mothers raved about how much it saved them in expensive cavity filling bills. Their kids cavities would be reduced by half or more. It is an experience that I just can't get enough of and I am known to brush my teeth 4 -6 times a day just to revisit that clean feeling over and over again. Despite no running water and toliets that didn't flush and beds with holes in the middle, when I was in Africa the first thing that I said I missed the most was my sonicare toothbrush . (sorry family, you came long after the sonicare).
3. MY TOOL KIT I love my tool kit. I can honestly say that I have better tools then my Dad and he is quite jealous of the tool kit HE gave me. I always ask for tools for Christmas and he really spoiled me one year with a tool kit that can make a girl like me shed tears of joy.
4. DOVE DARK CHOCOLATE
This is one thing that I have a constant and running supply of in my cupboard. I eat 3-6 pieces daily and it just hits the spot like no other. Without them...I am not whole.
5. GRANOLA BARS This is the other thing I keep a constant supply of. I eat at least 2 of these daily and I have been known to eat up to ten a day. I just can't ever get enough of the textury goodness of granola. By far, a favorite food.
6. ICE COLD WATER
Call me crazy, but this is by far my favorite drink of all time. I can never drink enough and my bladder suffers terribly for it.
7.MY CDS I loath cheesy chick flicks, but if you play a good love song, I melt like butter in an oven. I love music and if music jumped off a cliff you can bet I would follow it. Need I say more?