CHRISTMAS LIGHTS FOR HEADLIGHTS

SO HERE IS YET ANOTHER STORY OF MY BELOVED BLUE L.S.S. CAR THAT ENDURED SUCH A LONG AND HARD LIFE, SHE CAN RUN CIRCLES AROUND THE ENERGIZER BUNNY AND THEN DRIVE ACROSS COUNTRY A DAY LATER.
SO THE OTHER DAY I NOTICED THAT MY CARE SMELT OF AN UNUSUAL ASSORTMENT, BUT DUE TO MY INABILITY TO SMELL I COULD NOT DECIEFER THE SMELL ADEQUATELY TO DIAGNOSE HER.....SO I DROVE ANOTHER WEEK.
SO AFTER A WEEK OF HEARING MY BRAKES SQUEAK i ASSUMED IT WAS THE BREAKS AND WENT AND BOUGHT THE PARTS. BUT WHEN I EXAMINED MY BRAKES I SAW THAT THEY WERE FINE.....SO I DROVE ANOTHER WEEK.
SO THEN THE SMELL CONTINUED AND I THOUGHT MAYBE IT WAS BURNING RUBBER OR JUST THE SMELL OF BURNING ANTIFREEZE...AND I DROVE AN0THER WEEK.
SO THEN WHILE MY SISTERS WERE IN TOWN I ASKED THEM TO DECIFER THE SMELL FOR ME AND THEY CONCLUDED ON BURNING RUBBER. THEN MY BATTERY CHECK LIGHT CAME ON AND I JUST KNEW THAT IT WAS MY ALTERNATOR BELT. SO I GOT AN ALTERNATOR BELT.......SO THEN I ALMOST DROVE ANOTHER WEEK.....OR TWO...
SO SAT COMES ALONG AND I HAVE NO TIME TO CHANGE MY BELT UNLESS I SKIP MY AFRICA HUMANITARIAN PROJECT AND I FIGURE THE LORD WILL BLESS ME FOR PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE FIRST.......I WAS WRONG
SO AFTER THAT, I DROVE TO SOCCOR AND I NOTICED THAT I WAS HAVING A HARD TIME SEEING BETWEEN MY WHITE AND YELLOW ROAD LINES. I ALSO NOTICED THAT MY HEADLIGHTS WERE QUITE DIM AND THAT I FELT LIKE I WAS DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD WITH ABOUT THE AMP AND POWER OF TWO CHRISTMAS LIGHTS LEADING MY PATH. I ALSO NOTICED THAT THE RED BATTERY LIGHT ON MY DASH WAS THE BRIGHTEST LIGHT IN MY CAR AND THAT MY DASH LIGHTS WERE MORE OF A GLOW IN THE DARK TYPE THEN THE TYPICAL ILLUMINATING TYPE. I KNEW THIS WAS NOT GOOD. I JUST NEW THAT MY BELT WAS SHREADED AND THAT I WAS NOT TURING MY ALTERNATOR AND THAT I WAS RUNNING OFF PURE BATTERY JUICE, AND I WAS ABOUT TO THE END OF MY CUP.
SO I THINK MOST PEOPLE WOULD TURN AROUND, BUT I HAD A SOCCOR GAME TO GET TO, SO I LAUGHED AN PROCEEDED ON MY UNLIT JOURNEY.
AT THIS POINT THE AVERAGE PERSON WOULD ASK FOR SOMEONE TO FOLLOW THEIR UNDETERMINED SAFE ARRIVAL HOME. BUT ME, BEING THE EXCESSIVELY PRIDEFUL AND INDISTRUCTABLE PERSON THAT I AM, I DROVE HOME BY MYSELF...THIS TIME WITH NO HEADLIGHTS....AND NO DASHLIGHTS....AND A OFF AGAIN ON AGAIN RADIO....
AT THIS POINT MY BIGGEST CONCERN WAS NOT GETTING CAUGHT BY SOME COP, BUT AFTER A FEW MOMMENTS OF THINKING I DECIDED MY CHANCES OF BEING CAUGHT WERE LESS SINCE HE COULDN'T SEE ME COMING SINCE I WAS TRAVELING IN THE COGNITO OF THE DARK....... AND I LAUGHED LIKE SOMEHOW I WAS SUDDENLY CLEVER.....THEN I NOTICED THAT THE LIGHTS INSIDE MY CAR GOT A LITTLE BRIGHTER, AND THAT WAS BECAUSE A NEW LIGHT APPEARED....MY CHECK ENGINE LIGHT!!!!
MY EMOTIONS WERE MIXED AT THIS POINT AND MUCHLY APPRECIATED RIDE HOME CONSISTED OF BURSTS OF LAUGHTER INBETWEEN PRAYERS OF GRATITUDE THAT I WAS YET ONE MILE CLOSER TO MY HOUSE.
SO LONG STORY SHORT, AFTER PUTTING ALL PEICES TO THE PUZZLE TOGETHER I REALIZED THAT I NEED A NEW ALTERNATOR...AND PROBABLY A NEW BATTERY TO BOOT SEEMS AS HOW I SUCKED THIS ONE DRY, LIKE A KID SUCKS THE LAST DROP OUT OF A CAPRI SUN TYPE OF DRY.
SO THAT IS THE NEWEST ADVENTURE OF RONNIE AND HER BLUE L.S.S. BUT I JUST KNOW THAT IT WILL ONLY BE A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I SPEND A GREASEY MONKEY DAY WITH HER SLAPPING ON A NEW ALTERNATOR AND SHE WILL BE RUNNING LIKE A CHARM AGAIN. I JUST HAD TO SALUTE HER FOR THE OL TROOPER SHE IS AND FOR ALL THE CRAP I HAVE PUT HER THROUGH.