MY FEARS

SO tonight I decided that I would make a list of some of the fears that I have in life...so here it goes....
(heres a pic of a sheep that was eaten by a python. I really scares me to death to look at this picture but it is so rare that i had to put it on) I scroll past it as fast as I can.
1. BEING SQUEEZED,SWALLOWED AND DIGESTED BY A PYTHON... while I am quite aware that by the time i have been squeezed by the python I am dead and I won't remember the being swallowed and digested aspect I can still creep myself out thinking about it. The whole unlocking jaw thing that allows the python to eat things 10 times its size is truely alien and metamorphically creepy. And the python approach is horrific. It is so slow and unnoticed and then just when you think you are safe.....SNAP...you are in his jaw. And he doesn't just eat you in one swallow bite like a crocodile he eats you slowly and painfully, head first....your feet still hanging out his mouth for later, like a dinner aftermint.
HOnestly, at night if I get freaked out, it is not because I invision a murder at my window, it is because I am invisioning a snake under my bed.

1. BEING PREGNANT.... I hate it when people say, " I am going to be a cute pregnant lady" because in my mind...no such thing exsists. In my eyes it is putting my body on the altar. It is like cohabitating your body with an alien. Suddenly I have no control over what my body does and this is the result..... I doll up in tears over anything that breaths, I slowly loose control of my bladder, i have the eating habits of a ravenous wolf, my belly stretches to be the size of a hot airballoon, I grunt when I sit down, I roll over to stand up, I get hunger pains while I am eating, I crave foods i don't even like the taste of, I throw up at the smell of the things I used to love, my emotions are as stable as a rocking chair, my hormones are bouncing around like a pin ball, I can't see my toes, my pants have a elastic in the front as to encompass a goiter, my hair falls out, my jeans NEVER fit again, my cellulite becomes the majority of my body, my boobs swell the size of cantelopes and I am so front heavy I have to lean back to walk. My stretch marks all connect, my ankles turn kankle, my veins become vericose, my lungs are squished up into my throat, I am leaking in more places then just my bladder, my teeth soften, I eat with both hands, I have to be violated with monthly checkups and cold metal stirups and the only way to end the episode is the painful experience of compressing a watermelon through a straw.

3. BEING SET UP ON DATES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE....this one is so hard on me. People tell me "I have the perfect person for you, they are just like you." I can't tell you how trying it is on my ego to open the door to a not even half attractive person standing there who is "just like me." I question my attractiveness for weeks following. It is hard enough to be single and to be on the constant rollercoaster of pointless hope and it is even harder to be subliminally told your ugly at the same time. I really fear having that for the rest of my life.

4. BEING CHASED....As a kid I always hated the game of tag because I hated the feeling of being chased. I would just give in and let them tag me because I couldn't stand the sound and the feeling of being chase and having them right on my heels. It was simply chilling to the spine to have the hovering feeling encompass me. The sound of the footsteps growing closer and closer and their breath getting so close it could warm your neck.....I HATE IT!!

5. THE MAN IN THE MIRROR...I am sure that you have all seen the movies where the girls is in the bathroom doing something and then all the sudden she looks up at her reflection in the mirror and there is a man standing behind her!! OH my heck I hate that. I would wash my face with one eye open if soap in the eye didn't hurt so dang bad. I definetly fear that, but I would prefer that he be standing there with the knife and just end it all right then cuz if he didn't then I would have to run and that would lead to a chase which scares me even more then the attack itself!! I would be more scared to run then to be stabbed. How contorted is that?

HOME

so I JUST GOT BACK FROM WA ANd can I juST say that I lOVE THAT PLACE. THere are FEW things as wonderful as being home with crisp green grass, towering trees and air as fresh as a sea breeze. The highlight of my trip was swinging on the porch swing. It was nothing short of divine. Here is the place i will always call HOME, my sanctuary.

CuTE KIDS

Here is just a few pictures of some adorable kids. I didn't even try to look cute in Africa, I didn't stand a chance with their natural beauty.

RURAL AFRICA

Here are just a few pics of the rural part of Africa.

ELEPHANTS ON SAFARI

SO here are some pictures from our WALKING safari. Ya, we walked around the jungle with a tour guide who kept a gun...just in case... these pyramid sized beasts came at us!! Which it DID!! Here is a picture of one right before it trumpeted and charged the group behind us!!

Heres some of the elephants as they gather to take a bath. They bath together...kinda dirty perverted animals.

Here is a pricless picture I captured in action of an elephant pooing!! More then likely one of his friends will step in it and bring it into the bath with them.

Here is another amzing picture of just what an elephant is capable of. NO kids, this is not a chocolate flavored snow cone...it is elephant dropping. No not ask for a taste.

ONe of my FAVs

I just had to put this picture up because it is so darn cute. Just look at how innocent his eyes are, and so full of hope. It think it speaks well for the type of people that are in Africa.

AFRICA HIGHLIGHTS-- C section

So I just have to post a few pictures from my AFRICA trip..but I won't bore you with long breath expanding details...the pictures say it all. The reason this is one of hte highlights is because it shows a little of what i do at work every day!! I go to C-section deliveries/high risk delieveries and resuscitate new born babies!! However, it is NEVER that i get to take a camera to work...except in AFrica(no hipa here)
HERE IS ME IN THE OR IN THE ANAWA HOSPITAL OR

HERE IS WHERE THEY HAVE CUT AND NOW THEY ARE RIPPIN THE SKIN OPEN

HERE IS A GOOD LOOK AT THE RIP AND THE YELLOW FAT/ADIPOSE TISSUE IN THERE

NOW THEY ARE PAST THE SKIN THEY CUT INTO THE UTERUS

AND THERE IT IS!! THE TOP OF THE HEAD!!!

C-section part 2

AND HERE IS THE DOCTOR PULLING THE BABY OUT!!

AND HERE IS OUR BRAND NEW BABY, HEALTHY, PINK AND CRYING. OUR WORK HERE IS DONE!

SO WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT I DO AT WORK ALL DAY, THIS IS JUST A LITTLE PIECE OF WHAT I GET TO DO !! I LOVE IT!!!

living quarters africa

SO as part of the African story comes the actual living quarters
HERE is one of the first friends who came to greet us along with his 20 generations of family members throughout the week. ANd ya, that is our kitchen counter he is dancing on.
HERE IS THE BEDS WE SLEPT ON...old hospital mattresses.....i try not to think about the strange types of ooze that they have been soggied with having come from the hospital.
Here is our bathroom...but dont' be decieved...that bath is just for looks,it doesn't actually work..it is just a big fancy drain. Our baths consisted of a bucket of fetched water and a cup. And the sink...it didn't work either...if ya spit in it, it just drained onto the floor below it.

Here I am doing an early morning chore with my broom...sweeping dead roaches. People like to kill them, they don't like doing the dirty work and sweeping their lifeless bodies away for proper roach burial, so I do that part.

THE DEMOLTION DURBY DREAM

So it was about this time last year that I was sitting on the bleacher seats with my friend Apes simply enthrolled in the momment of attending my first DEMOLITION DURBY!!! I was filled with absolute glee. My body shrilled with excitement as I heard the sounds of roaring engines,squeeling tires, busted metal and gobs of mudd. It was my version of a heavenly choir.
Anyhow just as it was coming to a close they announce that any girls who wanted to demolition were welcome to participate for fifty bucks!!! The girls simply paid 50 bucks and finished off any of the cars that could still run and finish them off in what they call a "powder puff round."
I just about flipped my lid with excitment!! I had no idea such a thing exsisted!!! I felt robbed and deprived that I had never known of such an event. I nearly broke down into sobbing tears because I didn't have the money on me to participate...but from the very momment nearly one year ago I SWORE that I would participate in the 2008 Idaho State Fair Demolition Durby!!!!

So my friend...the day is approaching us and I twitch with anticipation every time i think about it...SEPTEMBER 6th 2008..I will be in the drivers seat of a piece of shiz (other then my own) free at the wheel to conquer a field of mudd and metal debris. !!
The invitation is open to anyone interested in attending. But chances are, much like my trick or treating of 2007, I will end up going alone. But I am fine with that, I can not let the opportunity pass or let the dream die.
I have the feeling that this could be the beginning of a GREAT family tradition!!!