Sunday, August 24, 2008


My old mission comp and I have a term that we called, " THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS." It covers the majority of women and quite frankily it just sizzles me over.
The DAMSEL IN DISTRESS is the girl who finds herself in a tough situation and rather then using her perfectly competant BRAIN she jumps right out of a great learning situation and cries out for help. Some boy comes to the rescue and somehow this makes her feel all is well.
I simply can not understand this thinking. How can all be well? What is the damsel going to do when she falls into that situation again? What could she possibly gain from being helpless and letting someone else come to the rescue? What good does sitting around waiting for help do? What does she possibly gain from this? IN my eyes, NOTHING.

RATHER, what the damsel should do is use the very useful thing screwed atop her neck called a brain. She should challenge herself and find a way to resolve her problem. She should learn from the experience and then be able to help someone else down the road who is in the similar situation. And who knows..maybe that someone else will be her!! Sure, not everyone knows everything but there is no reason that she can't look it up or educate herself on the matter or even make a phone call for advise. But she should NEVER just sit around in the castle like an idiot waiting day in and day out for some hero to come rescue her. Why cheat yourself of a great learning opportunity and a glimpse of the vast things you are capable of?
THEN THERE is the MEN and this is the SOLE reason that the DAMSEL get the MAN. Men have to feel all testosteroned and hero-like, otherwise they feel useless. They have to feel like they are rescueing someone and that the world would collapse without them. And when they do find this, they drop like apricots come fall. They find an opportunity to help the damsel and they are google eyed and crazy because his testosterone needs have been filled and he thinks he has conquered a dragon by helping the girl.
SO HERE LIES OUR PROBLEM. Women know that the best way to get a guy is to act dumb and perplexed and to fill the mans testosterone need to be conquerer. So women create small dragons they need "rescuing" from and the men come runnning. This is by far the best way to call, find and keep a man.
Unfortunate for my parents, who are so deeply worried about my singlehood, I refuse to be the damsel in distress. I REFUSE to sit around in some castly crying for help waiting for some testosterone driven man with no brain to come to my rescue. Instead, I will sit in my castle, plan out my own attack, slay my own stinking dragon and liberate myself. I don't need to sit around waiting for someone else to come do it for me, what a waste of life and a perfectly good brain. And can I just say that the feeling of slaying your own dragons and being perfectly competant on your own is priceless.


Shayla said...

That's IT, I've got to become a worthless, helpless, LYING female to get a man. Thanks for the insight Ronnie, I'm off to pretend I'm someone I'm not so I can get a date!

simplysarah said...

Wow, Ronnie, great use of a metaphor! Even if your reasoning is flawed...

For the record...I am not a sexist damsel. I accept offers of help from both genders! And I think of it more as a bartering system. You help me, I help you with something else.

Why do I need to figure out how to use a jack when someone else is perfectly capable of doing it for me, and when I can offer all sorts of services that said persons are in turn completely incapable of....


Rowdy said...

ronnie ronnie ronnie. I couln't agree with you more. I can't tell you how sick I get of girls calling me up all the time to help them with the stupidist things. Granted, I'm a man and feel good when girls need me, but I would much rather have them do it on their own and leave me to sculpt my guns, practice karate in front of the mirror with my shirt off and blow things up in true man fashion.