The EMERGING OF CHEWY

WEll I very well couldn't give Tasha a nickname without coming up with one just as deserving for Bree. So as I comprised a web of choices I observed Bree for a few hours. And of course in order to observe Bree for a few hours there is just ONE place to go....TO THE KITCHEN!!!
Also contributing to Brees nickname was a common occurance that occured multiple times DAILY involving me and BREE that went something like this...
The setting is me and Bree in the (wouldn't you know...the kitchen) and I am cooking. Bree sits there the ENTIRE time watching me...and then just as the food is finished and I am about to take a bite.....
BRee says, "Ummm...that looks good..can I have some?" all while probing her face right up next to my untensil in antincipation for the next bite.
I say, "FINE " and I take a deep sigh.

The worst part is NOT that this takes place, but the fact that this is happening all while she is eating a cookie in another hand or costco size muffins in BOTH hands. No matter what she has, it is not enough, or good enough....she must have what RONNIE is eating. It wouldn't matter if I was eating terd on a stick...Bree would want it.

Oftentimes, when I would think I was all alone, I would whip a little something up and just as I would take my first bite, Bree would pop out of somewhere and want some.

To Bree, everyday was a nonstop all you can eat buffet. The eating never ended, even between her eternally long stories...Bree was eating....and so the nickname was born for BREE......the nickname being CHEWY.
Because no matter what time of day it is, you can find Bree chewing on something..and if she is on her last bite, you can find her chewing on YOUR food even before she has reached the end of her meal. The End love RONNIE

How the BO BO came about

So here is the story of how the Bo BO came about.
Tasha was in school one day with her beloved teacher Mr. Dahmule. Tasha and her cohurts however, decided that to properly pronounce the teachers name it shouldn't be pronounced "DAh- mule," but it should be pronounced "Dumb Mule" instead.
Likewise Mr Dahmule thought he was just grand and funny because he had devised a nickname for Tasha in class that day and as he took role he called Tasha the "Buger Queen."
Tasha rolled her eyes at the teacher and said to him, "oh, that is really funny Bo Bo." Mr Duhmule looked up from his desk and asked Tasha, "Just what does Bo Bo mean?" Proud with delight Tasha pulled an answer from her butt and proclaimed..... "IT MEANS MONKEY'S BUTT."
And so it has been that BO BO properly defined is to be interpreted Monkeys Butt.

To this day, that has been one of my favorite Tasha stories and so I found it necessary to call her BO BO for the rest of her life. Some people think it has to do with the fact that Tasha can make the perfect monkey face with enough people provoking her to do so....or if I threaten her with a spit yo yo. But more then that, it is her leveraged butt that seals the deal with Tashas BO BO name. At times, you would swear that her butt is run on hydrolics because it is set so high in the air. I think it is the simple monkee like features that Tasha posseses that make the name BO BO stick with her. And if she tried to run from it, she couldn't because it haunts her and follows her.....literally.

You may wonder why Tasha would not oppose such an unflattering nickname...and the reason is this...because there is a backup nickname for her. Devised by Chewy and myself....the backup nickname is "Tempelton." And if you have ever seen the cartoon "Charolettes Web" there is a scene where the rat (Templeton) goes crazy and eats all the food at the county fair, while singing....a task Tasha is completely capable of. the END love RONNIE

SWEET IS THE TASTE OF GRADUATION!!

SO as boring as it is to read I just have to announce that I, RONNIE McDonald have finally graduated!!!!! WHoohoo!! YIppe skippee to me! I am so excited to NEVER have the ultimate stress of full time school and work on my back again!! Of course I am still taking a few courses here and there but that is NOTHING compared to the crap I have plowed through this year! Yesturday my friends and I rewarded ourselves by skipping out on the Respiratory convention early and treating ourselves to massages!! It felt so good!! I am excited because I am going to make twice as much as I do now and I will be working twice as much. So that is nearly 3 times what i am making now!!! I am going to be living like a KING compared to what I have had!! In all honesty, the money is nice, but I am more excited about the relaxing life I will have compared to the sweat ladden life I had just last week!! LIFE IS GOOD! love RONNIE

CHEWYS BOOT

So it came to pass that Bree (aka Chewy) had a fractured leg times two and didn't even notice it until well into the season. So Bree goes to the doctor and they give her a big black permaboot to wear while she heals. Since the new acclaimed leg addition, Bree has gotten some new names for her leg such as Robo Leg and my particular favorite ( probably because I made it up) is soggy raisen leg.
It was one day while we were conversing on the couch that we decided that it would be so funny that it is practically necessary to wax Brees boot. Surely she would not let us do so, but late at night Bree had known to fall into some deep slumbers and the time would be opportune!! It wouldn't be that much fun to watch her walking around in it, as it would be to see her realize her boot was waxed when she hit the first wooden stair in the front entry room staircase!! That would be a timeless event worth taking the blame for!!! Just a thought. love RONNIE

Helltastic Wedding Day #2 Part 2

SO by some miraculous direction, we were able to find the temple. Kris dropped Granny and herself at the front steps to the temple cuz they were just barely beating the buzzer. We drove the car down to the very bottom of the temple parking lot to try and clean Mia who was still sitting contently in her red gummy scented throwup. It wasn't 30 seconds after we parked that BOBO noticed Kristina running towards our car. I immediately sensed that she was after her recommend of which she had left in the car. We coudln't help but laugh at the uncanny series of events. I threw Kristinas purse at Tashas head and by the time her laughter stopped Kris was in the car and we were driving her back up to the temple top. We dropped Kris off and returned to our original parking destination. It wasn't 3 minutes later that I looked out my window to see Kristina and floppy Jack both running towards us...again!! They came to deliver the message that Dad wanted me to try and get into the temple via calling my stake president. Why bother I thought....I don't even know what Stake I am in!! But I tried anyways and someone got me the hookup and I got in. So then the wedding occured and somehow we were there, actually present, in person, despite all things that were bound to keep us from getting there.

Mia ran around bear back in the car until it was time for pictures in fear of disaster #467 occuring on her white dress Kristina spent countless hours sewing. I still remember seeing Mia in the car, nearly all naked except for a diaper and a bright red puke oozing bellybutton. (Apparently Bree had run out of wipes and didn't notice the belly button in time). Well Mia got her white dress on and took pictures and never threw up!! It was grand and it SEEMED all the stress had settled.

Then we went to Olive Garden, and I had just come out of the bathroom went I noticed a "piso mojado" aka wet floor sign where the hostess was discustingly cleaning up a familar red ooze on the floor. "Oh no" I thought, "not again" ....but it was again. Mia had puked in the restaurant...again. But this time good old Chewy was holding her and this time Chewy got the worst of it. Bree was covered in red gummy juice...all over her new white shirt. But that wasn't even the worst part, the worst part was that Bree had to wear a boot for her fractured ankle and rumor has it that she got a fountains worth down her boot. Slaushing with every step Bree,Kristina Mia and Kaylee all went home.

Kristina and she was pretty much exhiled to the house for the rest of the night. Hours on end of cleaning up scattered spots of Mias interspursed puking. She never even got to attend the reception and she is still bitter about it. So we like to bring it up on occasion to add thrill to the conversation.
AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS THE END OF THE STORY OF THE HELLTASTIC WEDDING. MARCH 30 2007

Helltastic wedding Day #2 the morning

So the next morning I was finally feeling better, not up to parr completly but enough to make an appearance at my sisters wedding. I looked like Madum Mim, but despite how I looked I was just glad I could breath and walk again without my hunchback de-energizedness self.
As I was getting ready, I heard the news, my little niece had contracted the bug. She has just thrownup. Most amazingly was that fact that she was just fine after that she just danced to her Barney tapes like usual and ate like normal, so we decided to ignore the obvious and hope for the best.
It wasn't until we were on the way to the temple that we passed the town of Troutdale that we realized that we were lost and didn't know how to get to the temple. We were lost and we hadn't a clue how to get back on track since we didn't know what the right track was. Kristina started feeling bad that Grandma had driven all this way and wasn't going to make it to Nat wedding. So Kris cried.
Kristina looked at me from her rear view mirror and asked, "do you have your recommend." That was when I realized that it hadn't even crossed my mind to bring it. Being completely lethargic the day before I didn't even care. There was no turning around now, it was too late. I just laughed, what could I do. The situation was uncanny.
It wasn't seconds later that Bree announced the phrase that will forever go down in history. "IT SMELLS LIKE GUMMIES." That is when I caught a glimpse of bright red something spewing from the mouth of little Mia. "She's throwing up, " I announced only to see her spew followed by 2 more spews and then a projectile bright red one come from her and hit the back of the Kris's seat like the grand finale of a fireworks show. It was a mess and it was colorful..and apparently It SMELLED LIKE GUMMIES!!! (thanks to bobo and chewy who fed her fruit snacks despite my urging to feed her only clear liquids).


So there we were, lost, recommendless, gummy smelling, vomit projecting, Madum Mim portraying family. Just waiting for the rest of the drama to set in. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. The situation was ideal, it was the perfect Malcom in the middle momment, my very own! The End

The Helltastic Wedding Day 1

So as we all know I went to WA for my YOUNGER sisters wedding...who is younger then me....and she is getting married....younger then me.......Just joking. I really don't give a rats butt about it, becuase I am 2 weeks aways from graduating and as my friend Brooke has so perfectly put it.."planning on being as selfish as possible for the next year of so." What can I say..it is true!
So as for the wedding, we drove all 12 hours with my friend JoJO's kids. They were super good and quite......and it wasn't until the next day that I was in WA that a I realized why her kids were so good.....They were infectiously tired because they were still contaminated with the FLU which I ingested the next morning. Arising from the bed I went into the bathroom and stuck my finger as far down my throat as possible trying to make myself throwup and rid my stomach of the contaminates that infected me so. I just wanted it OUT!! Unfortunately, the contents came from the bottom end in watery substance otherwise known as diarrhea. I was miserbale. So after a few attempts and a pepto bismal later, i was successful and I spewed about 6 pieces of pizza from the previous night into the toilet bottoms. Only to be followed by the bottom end being emptied once again. So I spent the entire day having my head and butt buried in the same facinity. I don't recommend it. The worst part was the dehydration, I couldnt even walk the width of the house without stopping and resting on the floor and panting like a cow in heat for my next breath. After a 15 minute laying on the floor session I would finally muster up enough energy to raise off the floor and walk the next 10 feet, hunchback style because standing up straight took too much energy. That was Day 1 of the Helltastic Wedding. love RONNIE