Saturday, September 15, 2007

AMAZON WOMAN???


So I HAD a friend named Sara who just says whatever the heck she wants to and unlike most people who take back and try to cover the stupid mean things they say...SARA continues to justify what she says. Willfully and cheerfully digging her own pit, you might say.
So it was a few weeks ago that I was sitting next to Sara in churh when she looks at me and says, "Do you know what you remind me of.....an AMAZON WOMAN." I just gasped. Now I have never been called an AMAZON WOMAN before and I had never even as much as heard of one. But I pictured one in my mind. And what I pictured was a uni-browed beast of woman running through the jungles chewing on a monkey carcass. I was utterly insulted!!
Of course Sara, clueless that she is continues...."No it is a good thing. Amazon women are big and strong." Now I am picturing the same beast of woman in the jungle chewing on a lions carcass all while beating off an anaconda with ease. So for the next few minutes we continued to argue back and forth about images dipicted in ones mind as the word AMAZON WOMAN is said. Me seeing it a something terrible and aweful and she seeing it as a perfectly sound and complimentary statement. Again, this is Sara, the only girl who would continue to insult someone and dig pits for herself rather then try and back out and appologize. Again I remind you, this is Sara, there are no appologies from Sara, just continued insults as she tries to justify calling you an oversized, thunder thighed freak of nature!!!
So after arguments going no where, and her not convincing me that being called an AMAZON WOMAN was a good thing, we decided that we must look to the internet.
Here is what we found...

AMAZON WOMAN :

Amazon women were basically women warriors who fought alongside the men...then it also said this.....
The Greek variant of the name was connected by popular etymology to a- (privative) + mazos, "without breast", connected with an aetiological tradition that Amazons had their right breast cut off or burnt out, so they would be able to use a bow more freely and throw spears without the physical limitation and obstruction!!!!
Now as Sara read this discription to me over the phone I couldn't help but bust my gutt in laughter. How could she possibly constrew this into a "good thing" or as she calls it. But she continues to stand by her so called "compliment" despite the evidence that has unfolded. And despite the evidence she continues to call me AMAZON WOMAN and I just roll my eyes at her abilties to put 2 and 2 together.

But I have to admitt, she was a little right...while I would never consider cutting off my breast to shoot a bow and arrow better....if it ment I could drive faster or give my engine more torque...I would consider the option. THe END

3 comments:

simplysarah said...

Let's be honest my dear. What could possibly be MORE flattering than to be known as a hairy (the more hair the more woman, I like to say), anaconda-beating, monkey-carcass-eating, 12 foot-of-woman???

I'm racking my brain and...nothing comes to mind.

But anyway, thanks for protecting my identity by changing my name. ;)

Pichuley said...

in response to the whole...Sara says whatever she wants and doesn't ever back peddle...you say that as if you're unfamiliar with that mode of conversation...when really I think you're the one that invented it! I'm not saying it's not refreshing or anything.

RONNIE said...

I have to admitt Brook...I am quite familiar of the art of conversation without sugar coating....it is true...I am a master of that conversation