Thursday, September 27, 2007

BIKER BUTT AFTERMATH

I MUST ADMIT THAT I WAS PLESANTLY SURPRISED THAT MY MUSCLES WERE NOT SOAR THE NEXT DAY AFTER BIKING THE HELL SIDE. nOT THAT i AM A WUSS, JUST THAT FACT THAT I HAVE A LOT OF MUSCLES...SO THAT WOULD MAKE ME SOAR BEYOND THAT AVERAGE PERSONS SOAR.

tHE SURPRISE CAME AS A LOCALIZED TENDERNESS IN MY BUTTOCKS. AND NOT JUST ONE...BUT BOTH. i WONDERED JUST HOW BIKERS DID IT....HOW DID THEY STAND TO BEAR ALL THEIR WEIGHT ON THOSE TENDER SLICES OF BUNS.

i CAME TO ONLY ONE CONCLUSION...BIKERS MUST HAVE CALLUSED BUNS. tHERE IS ONLY ONE EXPLANATION..THEY SIMPLY MUST BE USED TO IT, BECUASE THEY HAVE WORKED UP A THICK LEATHERY JERKY O BUTT TO RIDE UPON. lITTLE DOES THE WORLD KNOW THAT BENEATH THE TIGHT SPANDEX LAYS AN UNSIGHTLY BREW OF LEATHER LAIDEN SKIN JUST YEARNING FOR EXFOLIATION. eXFOLIATION NEEDS SO THICK NOT EVEN A CHISEL COULD BREAK THROUGH.

IT WAS ABOUT THAT TIME THAT I STARTED TO REALIZE JUST HOW MUCH THE BIKER WORLD IS HIDING..THEY SEEM HIP AND COOL AND PERFECT BODIED...BUT REALLY..THEY ARE HIDING THE TRUTH OF IT ALL. THE PRICE THEY PAY FOR THOSE GREAT THIGHS IS HARDLY WORTH THE DEVISTATION THAT LIES BENEATH. aND DO YOU KNOW WHAT...IF THEY HAVE CALLUSED BUTT...I BET THERE IS A LARGE POPULATION OF BIKER BUTT BUNYONS OUT THERE TOO!

2 comments:

simplysarah said...

Initially I was puzzled. Why would Ronnie have bicycling bunyons? Why don't I ever remember having that problem?

And then it came to me. Because I actually had a butt to begin with! Since you didn't, you had insufficient cushioning during your ride...you poor dear. Eat more chocolate!

Jourdan Johanna said...

yes.
cyclists=hip, cool, & perfect bodied.

oh, bulging-muscly-one. I'll take you any day.