There was a lady who wasn't even that old and she was handing out OLD LADY CANDY!!! Who did she think she was? She ahd NO right to hand out that nasty crap. (See picture for description o crappy candy)
She was well previous to her insanity claiming age. Everyone knows only the old senial posing senior citizens are entitled to that!!! Making it to that age has it's priveledges, one of them being the right to hand out cheap nasty hard candy. How dare a younger woman try to takd ethat priveledge at an earlier age!! She didn't even have a speck of salt or pepper in her hair!!
Anyhow, as I opened my vunerable trick or treat bag to her welcoming smile I was greatly decieved as she reached into her bag of poo candy and dumped a big handful in my bag!!!The whole time she smiled like she was doing something kind or nice! Like she was being generous or something.
Well I was no idiot...it only takes one taste of the crappy stuff to have the memmories permanently tattooed in your brain like an abusive relationship. I remember the time I unwrapped the bright red attractive wrapper with glee...only to be disgusted with the lack of texture, lack of chocolate and lack of pleasure that came from the so called candy. That wrapper haunts my mind like a bad beating from my parent. One taste of that bitty candy and you never make that mistake again.
This lady was taking me for an idiot!! LIttle did she know..underneath the beareded wig was a lifelearned 26 year old who could not be tricked. I knew that crap sells for the penny a pound.
THAT WAS WHEN SHE REACHED FOR HANDFUL NUMBER TWO!!! I knew I had to act fast..I couldn't have that crap candy weighing down these trick or treat legs. I had to ,keep my agility and speed if I was going to go for the ten pound mark!! Those very ounces of tastless candy could be the very thing that kept me for reaching that last door before the light turned off!! Oh,NO. I was not going to have ANY of that. I was no youngster at her doorstep, I was a 26 year old trick or treater...I mean business when it comes to the trick or treat!!!
Quick to my senses I turned and ran away from her before she could dump the crummy candy in my well earned bag! I was insulted...I was disgusted!! How could she? I would have been the same amount of insulted if she had dropped dung in my bag!!
SO let me just warn you all...if you think you are getting off easy by buying that cheap candy you are kidding nobody but yourself! If you don't have something chocolate covered in your bowl and you are under the age of 60 do the world a favor and just turn off your lights and don't answer the door on the night of the trick or treat.
No comments:
Post a Comment